(no subject)

[suthnoli]

taken from staraflur (AGES ago)

I ruled out a bunch of my books for having useless/annoying opening lines, but that left me with a lot of too-obscure ones...

1. "All children, except one, grow up."

2. "I have two friends. A good one and a bad one."

3. "When they write my obituary. Tomorrow. Or the next day. It will say LEO GURSKY IS SURVIVED BY AN APARTMENT FULL OF SHIT."

4. "Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake"

5. "Halfway through the televised debate I kick my boot into the screen."

6. “There lived in Westphalia, at the country seat of Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, a young lad blessed by nature with the most agreeable manners.”

7. “The Rue du Coq d’Or, Paris, seven in the morning. A succession of furious, choking yells from the street.”

8. “All young people worry about things, it’s a natural and inevitable part of growing up, and at the age of sixteen my greatest anxiety in life was that I’d never again achieve anything as good, or pure, or noble, or true, as my O-level results.”

9. “I believe that what separates humanity from everything else in this world- spaghetti, binder paper, deep-sea creatures, edelweiss and Mount McKinley- is that humanity alone has the capacity at any given moment to commit all possible sins.”

10. “An autobiography is a book a person writes about his own life and it is usually full of all sorts of boring details.”

11. “This is a tale of a meeting of two lonesome, skinny, fairly old white men on a planet which was dying fast.”

12.


13. “This is the tricky one. The effect of the bill will be to abolish trial by jury in at least half of the cases that currently come before the courts and will to a significant extent abolish the presumption of innocence.”

14. “Can I explain why I wanted to jump off the top of a tower-block? Of course I can I explain why I wanted to jump off the top of a tower-block. I’m not a bloody idiot.”

15. “I am making this statement as an act of wilful defiance of military authority, because I believe the war is being deliberately prolonged by those who have the power to end it.”

16. “Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner.”

17. “Do they have movies in England?”

18. “In the spring of 1989, shortly after my twenty-seventh birthday, as I stood in the sleet at a bus stop in Colchester, it dawned on me that I had probably, all things considered, failed in my mission to become Sting.”

19. “Sometimes, when a man is dying, he directs that his body shall be given to the doctors, so that the causes of his suffering and death may be investigated, and the knowledge used to help others. I cannot give my body yet; only my heart and my mind, trusting that by this gift I can give some hope and courage to other men like myself, and to the rest of the world some understanding.”

20. “Once when I was six years old I saw a beautiful picture in a book about the primeval forest called True Stories.”

21. “True story. Last winter, three men from a village in West Yorkshire went fishing off the coast near Scarborough, and hauled in an unexploded mine from the Second World War.”

22. “Jane Spencer collects pictures of slim young men.”

23. “What about a teakettle?”

24. “The circumstances which I am about to relate to my juvenile readers took place in the year 1647.”

25.


Comments screened, so you can all get your guesses in.

Also, I am starting to think The Boys Are Back In Town might actually really be my proper favourite song.